Personal experience

"I am an Armenian, bisexual and live in Sochi"

More and more European countries legalize same-sex marriage. Gay pride parades in European capitals attract a huge number of participants. What is the situation for people of non-traditional orientation in Russia, we roughly represent. But how do they live in Sochi? These people have to experience many difficulties associated with the special mentality of the city. Many refused to meet, to talk with the editors, but one girl nevertheless agreed to share her story and outlook on life with us.

Self-determination, aggression and teacher response

Let's just say that I like people in the broad sense of the word. If I feel good with a person, then it does not matter what gender he has. I had relationships with both men and women, but today, I am a formed person and I can say with accuracy that I admit the fact that I will have a wife.
To get a harmonious relationship, always someone must be an “asset”, and someone must be a “passive”, also in bed. One should have a sense of responsibility, a kind of dominance, the other a sense of security. I began to realize my peculiarity, if I may call it that, back in the kindergarten, when I kissed the girl. I did not visit for a second the thought that this was somehow wrong. Finally, everything fell into place at the age of 16, when I began to attract people with non-traditional sexual orientation. And, soon, my main social circle already consisted only of gays and lesbians.

Initially, I was ashamed, I tried to impress others and myself that I was straight, then only others, but very soon everything was revealed: I had a girl with whom I was very well. With her, I realized that I didn’t need any guy. Now I realize whether to hide or not to hide is everyone's personal business. It depends only on your environment, which will accept you or not accept. People around me relate to my choice differently, but personally, I can roughly divide them into three types: those who say "you will outgrow it", those who believe that I just have not found "that same" and those who they say it's cool.
I did not meet aggression often. Mostly from people of Caucasian nationality. Nevertheless, I think that even an aggressive attitude is justified. Firstly, because it is really unnatural. Secondly, because no one will be nice to upstarts blindly following fashion. Nowadays, society has unleashed itself so much that it really has become a kind of cult - to be not like everyone else. Therefore, many, most often children from 12-15 years old begin to imitate people with a non-traditional orientation without having any experience in terms of sexual relations. It’s not necessary to shout about it. After all, this is just your orientation, no one screams that he is straight. Likewise, it is not necessary to advertise, because this is your personal life, and others do not need to know if you have someone on the personal front and what gender he is. Gays are forbidden to walk by the arms and kiss in public because it is not beautiful, yes, but I sometimes look at straight people kissing in public places and think: "Lord, who would forbid them already!"


AT Sochi a huge number of people with non-traditional sexual orientation and no less huge among Caucasians


I am an Armenian myself and at school, I remember, I protested a lot for my orientation. I had a girl, our photos with which somehow surfaced. A lot of girls could defiantly turn away from me, but this only encouraged my spirit. I kissed a girl in the middle of the school corridor - in spite, to show how much I don't care. There have been cases when people wrote to me on the Internet: "What are you one of these ?! Aren't you ashamed?" To which I calmly answered, of these. Since when should I ask permission to love? Even my biology teacher, once seeing that I was reading at a break, the LGBT public began to spread rot, drove me out of the office, made comments to the same address and teased me at the lessons in front of the whole class, hinting that I was defective. For example, talking in a lesson about mating animals, I could say that they don’t have one and look at me. I took everything calmly and never understood people who close themselves from the whole world and suffer from people not accepting their choice. Straights, in fact, are exactly the same. Wouldn’t I, if I were straight, theoretically be confronted with the problem that others would not like my boyfriend?

Homophobia, rights and labels

It’s impossible for everyone to like, not to get depressed because of this! Something will always not suit someone. I am the LGBT member who does not accept the position of the sufferer that is widespread among us. If you do not want to get aggression in your direction, do not provoke society, everything is extremely simple. They even wanted to beat me and one of my acquaintances once, but not because our orientation is not the same, but because the language is too long, so draw conclusions. There is a category that is always always for all militant people, here, even if you are not gay or lesbian, if a person wants to deal with you, he will come to a conflict in any way - there simply will be a different reason. My life experience is that this category of homophobes, in fact, most often consists of latent gays who are very afraid of manifestations of this in themselves. My friends and I love our country and we believe that people with a gay orientation live better, yes, same-sex marriages are not legalized in Russia, nevertheless, it prevents the couple from sharing life, shelter and children with each other without a stamp with a passport? And the countries where it was legalized, have they become less homophobic? Not! They still spread rot, humiliate and even shoot gays. I sincerely do not understand why everyone is fighting for some formalities and shortcuts, which, in fact, are not particularly important.


If I lived in Russian Orthodox family and would bring a Muslim home, I would have the same problems


All people are afraid of the other and the unknown. In turn, the terrible and the unfamiliar are considered unpleasant, abnormal, outrageous. It seems to homophobes that LGBT people are perverts who want to seduce everyone around them, including children and animals; that they are drug addicts, mentally ill people, ugly, dancing drunkenly in high heels. In fact, gays and lesbians are ordinary people. Some of them like to have fun, others start families, live peacefully, doing their own business, bringing all possible benefits to society.


Photos: Anastasia Korsunova.

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